windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize