No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
