my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i've created a new STD.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
