this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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