my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Found the puke drawer
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
