Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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