Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
