i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
