You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You are the jesus of drinking
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
