so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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