Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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