This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
