She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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