i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
