Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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