Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's great music for shaving your balls
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
