If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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