Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
