Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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