I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
