That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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