He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
