I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
