new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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