it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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