whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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