I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
