I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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