dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?