Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
