What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
