maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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