somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This girl is more easily done than said...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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