Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
