I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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