Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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