Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
