yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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