i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize