I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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