bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Are we still banned from the library?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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