I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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