shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
