did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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