Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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