he told me I talked like a deaf person
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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