Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
