You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
