Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
