The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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