You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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