he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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