it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize