South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
