then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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