Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
