I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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