the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
