I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
